Monday, July 29, 2013

Thankful Thursdays starting in August...

     If you know me personally then you know that I have struggled for years with a horrible anxiety/panic disorder. As a child I was what was considered back then as "shy"-painfully shy. I remember hiding behind my moms legs whenever we came in contact with someone new. I remember trying everything I could do as a teenager to be invisible-in fact, my only goal as a teenager was to be invisible as much as possible. As an adult my acute shyness has not disappeared but has morphed into an anxiety/panic disorder. I have learned more effective coping skills for my anxiety than the highly unlikely chance of becoming invisible-barring some industrial accident that is! The funny thing about my disorder is that if you know me, are in my select circle of family and friends, you can easily forget that I suffer from it everyday. I am loud, outspoken, well-spoken, educated, semi-intelligent, funny, and generous. When I am with people in my comfort zone (family mostly but a couple of friends as well) it is easy to overlook that I am battling terror on a regular basis, that I have an over-inflated sense of flight or fight responses, or that I have difficulty being as "normal" as regular people. Certain "normal" aspects of other people's lives terrify me-meeting new people, having unrehearsed, unsolicited conversations with strangers, stepping away from my regular routine, and any changes with my "comfort zones" (home and families houses) without adequate time to adjust will leave me reeling-I literally shut down. I am sharing all this information because I think it is time for me to look for the positive aspects in my life instead of dwelling on my anxiety/panic disorder and how to not activate the fear I have.
     Starting in August I will begin a new segment in my blog called Thankful Thursdays. Every Thursday I will list my blessings and anything positive that has occurred in my life. My goal is to have a written record of the blessings I have in my life on a daily basis (a summary will be posted on Thursdays but will be a cumulative list from the week!) so that when times get bad (and they will) I can look back on something positive. Sometimes I will post pictures as well so that I will have a visual record.
     I know I do not have a lot of readers on this blog and that is okay...I am not writing this for anyone but me; however, if you like it that is just icing on the cake! I will continue to add knitting posts, family posts, and other stuff that happens in my life on here so do not worry...stay tuned for my first Thankful Thursday...